~Pleasent/Bitter~

Naomi?
no more...
Mara is my name.
Pleasent?
No more...
Bitterness has made me lame.

Requital of my emotions,
Set to bear down the love.
Wrath through a blessing,
Rain from above.

I'm like Solomon in his retribution...
Dreams are my disillusion.

Vapors are my reality.
My reality is but a mist.

(Ruth 1:20)

~I Don't Want You Back~

See I don't
Know why
I liked you so much
I gave you all of my trust.
I told you
I loved you
Now thats all down the drain
You put me through pain
I wanna let you know
How I feel

Screw what I said
It don't mean jack now
Screw the presents
Might as well throw them out
Forget all those kisses
They didn't mean jack
Forget you you skirt
I don't want you back

You thought
You could
Keep this crap from me
You burnt martyer
I heard the story.
You playd me
You even gave him your love
Now you're askin for me back
You're just another hag
Look else where
Because you're done with me.

Screw what I said
It don't mean jack now
Screw the presents
Might as well throw them out
Forget all those kisses
They didn't mean jack
Forget you you skirt
I don't want you back

You questioned
Did I care
You could ask anyone
I even said you were my great one.
Now it's over
But I do admit I'm sad
It hurts real bad
I can't sweat that
'Cause I loved a hoe

Screw what I said
It don't mean jack now
Screw the presents
Might as well throw them out
Forget all those kisses
They didn't mean jack
Forget you you skirt
I don't want you back

(I like the words and tune of this song, but I had to clean it up alot! It's very explicit)

~Closure~

I want to make this just like the first time.
When my love didn't cost a dime.
Before you had to prove you care,
Before all this pain I'd bear,
Before my heart did tear.

I gave you my love without question of why.
But you threw it away and made my eyes cry.
All I wanted to know was why.

I swore I'd have no regrets.
Now It's taking eternity to pay these debts.

Make ends to my life with a sigh.
For you I'd die.
But you've made love a lie.
By and by...
You've made love a lie.

I want to make this just like the first time,
When everything I was,
And should be,
Was without you...
Goodbye.

(I'm sorry Nicholas, It's my favorite of yours. if you don't like it, please just delete it)

~Crushed Linen~

He said "I'm going out to get milk".
But he never came back.
Funny how he was wearing silk.
Now a father is what they lack.

How I wish life was more then plush live'n,
100's, rolex's, and crushed linen.

Has to feed his lust for women.
Now he's grab'n 9's to be buck 10'n.
And his kids will follow suit.
It's easy when It's all you know.
It's in the very root...
Of every seed you could sow.

He said "I'm going out to get milk".
It's funny how he was dressed in silk.
He was dressed in silk.

~Mud Castle~
I close my eyes.
To hide the gray sky.
It's so peacfull inside.
In these Sand walls I abide.
Living in the dune.
Praying you'll come soon.

Between the times I vacation,
On concrete and stable foundation.
Useless sinking in this pit.
Between my teeth is grit.
Between my teeth is grit.

Rain upon me.
Mud Castles from the Sands.
Glorified dirt.
Imprints of long gone hands.
They built me up,
And let me down.
Took away my sunshine,
And made this frown.

Dressed in a gown,
With eye brows raised.
All in my dream...
or maybe my untruthfull daze?
My daydream daze.
My dazedream day...
I suppose I might just wait until I can see it in my gaze.

~Black Bottle~

Inside this jar are things of every shape and fashion.
From love, to beauty, to anger, to passion.
The color and shape has changed over the years.
Making this jar into a black bottle of tears.
Just like your black book.
Take a look,
To find your many switches.
Left like a homeless man in these many ditches.

Inside this jar are things of every shape and fashion.
From Joy, to sorrow, to hate to passion.
The color and shape has changed over the years,
Making this jar into a black bottle of tears.
Used what was took.
Take a look.
Find the many things there.
Removed and some how used,
you start to tear.

Inside this jar are things of every shape and fashion.
From hopeful, to joyful, to pain, to passion.
The color has changed over the years,
Making this jar into a black bottle of tears.
Read me like a book.
Take a look.
Everything you loved inside.
Has been used, and died.

Like I've said... It's dead.
It's dead.
And I can tell you hate it...
I can hear it in your head.

(What "gold" Nick? The strongest thing I have is this anger)

~Used Goods~

I bring you the pieces of my heart.
It's all I have to give.
This is my only conversation piece.

They'd cut your hands
From the pain that drips.
Shattered puzzles without peace.

I bring you the bits of my life.
It's all I have to bring.
This is my only conversation piece.

They'd pucker your lips
From the bitterness within,
That doesn't seem to cease.

I'd bring you these pieces,
They're all I have to give.
I'd give you this life,
It's all I have to live.

There's nothing of Value in me.
No treasure for you to see.
It's so empty.
So empty.

All I have give...
It's this endless life to live.
It's filled with every pain imaginable.
It's filled with every sting tangible.
And more so.
This cross to tow.
My living woe.

So...
I'd bring you these pieces,
They're all I have to give.
I'd even give you my life.
It's all I have to live.

I'd give it all to you...
I'd give all my used and empty self to you.

~Impared Vision~

I wish you could see you through my eyes.
Past the pain thats inside.
Past these tears that you've cried.
Shine on the truth,
shuffled past what's been lied.

What has been given to you in spite,
It never feels right.
All I wish if for 5 seconds of my sight,
To see past these hours of quiet.

This silence could kill.
It makes my head reel,
This thing you can't seem to feel.
And it makes me kneel.
Because I love you as my friend,
For you I'd attend,
And anything to lend.
But this I can't send.

So I'll sit here with you in this silence.
And let go of this violence.
You're my friend.

If only you could see yourself through my eyes.
I can see past these lies.
You could see past these lies.

(To Jacklyn)

~Shattered~

It's shattered from the heat,
Never again to beat.
And the hate that's fueled the fire within,
Grips my shaking hand again.
To be my friend, my chum.
My boo's, my rum.
And these few and fleeting times when I can feel,
Have been left outside for my friend to steal.
It's just what's been dealt to deal.
It's just what makes me kneel.
It's what's taken my heart to kill.

And It's shattered from the cold remains...
Of failing love, and It's bleeding stains.

It's shattered from the heat,
Never again in my chest to beat.
And I can't even feel,
It's like nothing is real.
My mind is torn apart,
Just like my broken and bleeding heart.
And I can't even feel.
It's like nothing is real.

It's shattered from the heat.
Never again to beat.
Never again to beat.

~Dead soldier~

You've brightened my moon.
Lightened my stars,
And strengthened my tune.
But I'm without you.
And my heart gasps.
The mud oozes out,
From these unhardened gaps.
You've sown the flesh,
And I have too.
We've made some mistakes,
But righted a few.
"Time is never enough"
Is all I can say.
I'd ask you to give up,
But you don't love me anyway.

I miss you,
Like every time I breath.
The air comes in strong,
In my tearless crying heaves.
The last time was mistakenly bad,
I'll be the first to apologize for me getting mad.
But in the beginning it was a blessing.
What can I say?
But now I see,
You never loved me anyway.

I loved you.
But now I can't find
Any reason to believe in love.
Am I just blind?
Heartache is old,
And It's changed my way.
I don't worship the ground you walk on,
Or hang on every word you say.
Because well...
You don't love me anyway.
You're not in love with me anyway.

I'd ask you to give up,
But now It's so clear to see...
That you don't love me.
You never did love me.

~Repetitive~
Am I the one to blame for this?
Some how it all ends up the same.
Walking on the water, in sweet bliss.
I never stopped calling his name.
And then I turn to see his hands not there.
sinking I wonder...
Am I to blame for this whole scare?
Do I dare?

Am I to regret these feelings?
Am I to lose what was healing...
once again?
Should I my friend?
Should I my friend?

Will I regret it?
When all these poems, they fade away?
Would I regret it?
When the price of Joy's too much to pay?
Will I regret it?
I just may.
I just may.

Heartache never seems to cease.
My old friend...
My pain has become my peace.
Should it increase?
Should it increase?

And I guess I'm just at a loss.
As to why God wants me to carry another's cross?
Am I to bear this pain alone?
Would my seconds of peace atone?
Or has my life become just a "Koan"?
Have my statements made any sense?
Should I pay my grief with my own penance?
All I ask is that you come like a thief...
Or take this grief.
Take this grief.

I'm shaking like a leaf...
Because you're love is more then I can bear.
More then they're jeers.
More abundant then my tears.
More powerful then my fears.
More painful then what sere's.
My heart's on fire...
Lord draw near.
Lord draw near.

~Bruised Petals~

I'm the man with roses in his pockets,
Bruising with every mile.
Laughing while I walk,
But I'm without a smile.
Heavy burden,
Heavy load,
Heavy times upon this road.
Waste my mind,
Use my heart.
Unstack these peices,
To take me all apart.

And I'm free,
But there's roses in my pockets.
And I'm free,
With hearts bound up like lockets.

Curse these sayings,
And forget these talks.
Although I've needed them
Upon these walks.

I'm traveling upon this road,
But this time isn't my all.
Bruising roses in my pockets,
As petals begin to fall.

~Cost Of Rags~

Slowly falling...
And I'm alone.
Freefalling...
Brought down by your stone.
I'm fearfull about the landing,
I expect nothing less.
Tears on my face,
Turn to my knees,
Crying in Solace.

It's gone!
No matter what I do,
I can't fix me!
No matter what I do,
These chains... They stil bind me.
I'm caught in the middle of paying so much,
Yet receiving so little.
I can hardly remember me,
Traces of what I could be.

Break me, Burn me.
Build me, Mould me.
Father just hold me.

I'm at peace with you...
I'm at peace.

(Father this poem was yours before I even started)

~Rooms Spin, Hearts Of Men~

It was crazy, but I loved it.
Didn't want it to stop,
Didn't want to miss it.
But the years have past,
And so has my feelings.
The thing I remember most?
Your fan on the ceiling.
Was it just me?
Could have sworn it was spinning.
Or maybe thats what I was feeling.
Don't worry I'm still grinning.
Also healing.

I heard what was up.
I'm wondering if It's the same deal.
Because the first would kill.
Casting pearls never seemed so easy.
But maybe this ones different,
Not sleazy.
I've prayed for you,
And I miss you alot.
I know I'll see you sooner or later,
But I'm holding it steady.
Although we were best friends.
I'm just not ready.

~Precious Tin; Hearts To Mend~

Slowly removed,
lonely and used.
Not how you used to be.
When started was whole,
But now there's a hole.
Hidden from the world to see.
Worthless, and Used?
Battered, and Bruised.
Not what I thought I would need.
But why does God have these blessings,
Locked up in these casings?
Inside... Priceless strings of bead.

Beautiful thoughts,
It's what I've sought.
Blessings have truly been.
Melted your heart,
It was torn apart.
Confessions from this calloused tin.
Confessions from our calloused tin.

And you're lovely! 
So beautiful!
And you're precious!
So wonderful!

(The bride's of Christ was never meant for their
birthright to be taken from themselves.
Nothing pains my heart more then to see
Someone that moves me to tears,
to be unmoved by themselves.
I hate it when some people don't understand how precious
they are)

~Stupid Girl~
 
Hope humming on one note.
Going loud, Going Low...
Slowly deafening it starts to hush.
Burned and battered hearts,
Another day, another time,
Another boy to tear apart.
And I am wrong,
And you are right.
And you are...
 
Stupid girl!
Rip it out, throw it down.
Tear is up, It'll leave you with a frown.
Stupid girl!
Run them off, throw it down.
Tear it up, It'll leave you down.
It'll leave you down.
 
It's been so clear.
Like the diamonds in your rings.
Cut to mirror your want of things.
You want the love, never the time.
You want everything, but won't pay a dime.
And I won't take it any more!
No I won't take it anymore,
I'm a person, Not your whore.
And when your right I must be wrong.
You are right.
You are right.
Your are...
 
Stupid girl!
Rip it out, throw it down.
Tear is up, It'll leave you with a frown.
Stupid girl! Run them off, throw it down.
Tear it up, It'll leave you down.
It'll leave you down.
 
So let me slip away,
Let me slip away,
Just let me slip away!
Stupid Girl!
How could you be so stupid?
How could you be so numb?
I don't get the mistakes you've made.
Why were you so dumb?

~Say The Word~

Keep me outside,
That is where I'll stay.
Dying each day,
Without your say.

Break my heart in two,
If only to be with you.
Crash down my old,
Just to make me new.

I'm without your say.

Keep me outside,
Let the rain shower down.
I'd cry if I saw you frown.

It hurt today,
Without your say.

Or hold me in your hands.
Catch my heart before it lands.
Thump, and then It's bled.
I'd take you to our bed,
If only you could have said.

But I'm without it...
At least for today.
I'm without it.
I'm without your say.

Oh that you would say the words,
It seems so absurd.
What I've longed for all this time.
The reason for this rhyme...
Say You'd be mine.

It starts with I and ends with you.
I'd shake if you would say It's true.
But I'd stay here outside.
From the first glance, until today...
If only you would say.
I'm here without your say.

(This sounds like something you would write in a valentines card.
but I really like the point)

~Look In My Eyes~

Falling Breathless,
Moment of honesty.
Locked in your arms,
Breathing the purity.
Holding my frame...
Caress my very soul.
Locked in your arms,
forever my goal.

Please look away,
I just can't take your stare.
Tears are rolling down,
And my heart begins to tear.
I can't help but look in your eyes,
But I can't take the pain.
Don't look in mine,
All they'll do is rain.

Please look away,
I can't miss you now.
locked in your arms...
God how?

Please look away,
I just can't take your stare.
Heart begins to break,
I begin to tear.
Please look away,
But I love it when you stare.
Breaking me apart,
Then starting to repair.

(lately my wife's been praying for me, word?)

This picture makes me think, I like it.

Cody

~Wheels And Rings~

Pierced and undone,
Unwound from the trendel.
Bleeding, open, and removed.
Set apart from the pain.
Painless Heeving,
Still here breathing.
Unwound from the fingers of you.

Let the lust and leverage fall.
Casting crowns among us all.
Still here breathing,
Still here heaving.
Unwound from the finger of you.

Unwound from your finger,
Untie the string.
Haunted ghosts,
I was toast,
But here comes spring.

Life with a look,
Steal me away!
Take my hand,
Here comes May.

Drink you in,
The eyes, I breath in.
So defining they keep me.
Healing scar's that beat me.

Winding in your finger,
All about me hair.
Looking in your eyes,
All I do is stare.

Keep me, Keep me.
Don't let me go,
I keep it hidden,
You don't want to know.
I want you to know.
I want you to know!

Winding around your fingers,
Would you break this ring.
Never losing, never doubting,
Never again a broken wing.

Take my heart, I don't need it so.
Take my heart, Hold me,
Just don't let me go.

~Well You're The Hero... Remember?~

High above the others,
While smashing it smothers.
Lead the life of a hero,
Always number 1, evil is Zero.

You're the envy of every guy,
The desire of every girl.
flying in your tights turn their heads,
dodging bullets with a twirl.

You bend the steal, and break the walls.
Taking prisoners to their stalls.
Lasers eyes, And iron fists.
Target practice... never missed

You're so cool with it.
You're so good at it.

You save the women and their purses.
You shut the mouths of evil men, with their curses.
Then you go home to your bed,
Now empty instead.

turn off the lights,
lean over and pucker up.
kiss the mirror you hold.
hugh... laugh it up.

~My Tea & Me~

Staring at a wooden frame,
Empty seat.
Eating my BLT,
I feel defeat.
Sweet tea with a little mint,
Magnify this silence sent.

Wooden frame.
Empty seat.
Silence met.
I felt complete.

Slide my foot to the leg.
Hearing laughter,
And it stirs.
So unmoveing...
It's not hers.

Wooden frame.
Empty seat.
Silence met.
As I eat.

Begin to wonder.
Begin to dream.
To interupt this silence,
I'd even scream.

Wooden frame.
Empty seat.
Silence met.
It seems to repeat.
Wooden Frame,
As I eat.
Silence here,
Against my feet.

~Come'n Home~

I was put in the mix,
'Bout 86
And ever since I ran
from his plan
to further my man.
understand through expansion
of mind, heart, body, and soul.
controlled by the deity of three.
Wanted me to be the son and prodigy.
Me, Shaun, the man you see.
Straight from Payne Springs,
the center of my location.
Operation?
wait for completion of my mental releases
down to pieces.
BSM where I chill
on the real.
(Head'n home) Say'n

"Ponder the thoughts,
all the money spent on useless things I bought...
paintball guns, remote controlled cars.
Models, and posters.
Just like holly,
so thick you could drive a trolly through my folly."
part'n me into two halves like the red sea.
glimpses of two open hands (arms)
instead of any other man that fed me.
Bidding me to take myself to a place distant and far off.
Thinking to myself "First I need to drop my car off."

I'm come'n home daddy. Make sure you keep the gate open.
I'm not heeding worldly pleasure daddy.
I'm come'n home daddy.
Meet me outside, greet me with your arms extended daddy.
I'm come'n home!

They say...
"Take an EPT, so fat are you pregnant?"
Why can't this world be more entertaining instead of flagrant?
"Purchase maternity gear from sears."
Don't listen to all their jeers.
Shedding tears
For all my wants and desires,
Pray to God I'm absent when this world errupts with fire.
Sinfull men with flames,
Before becoming ashes where they stood.
Revelation called it everything it would.
Kick'n up dust.
who do I trust?
Rush like all these people who aren't cruel,
Not act'n the fool.
Because they know when it ends...
Who's gonna rule.
I remember all those sleepless nights spent,
With my knees bent.
Conversations with the upper case.
Gaining streangth when.
I know I'm head'n home
Where It's gonna be easier pleas'n you daddy.
I'm come'n home.

I'm come'n home daddy.
Make sure you keep the gate open. I'm not heeding worldly pleasure daddy.
I'm come'n home daddy.
Meet me outside. Greet me with your arms extended daddy.
I'm come'n home!

The smell of Seals, a bird, and a monkey...
Mixed with the stench of Junkies best describes my kinda funky.
Spuky Spastic, Your life can't be recycled, it ain't plastic.
Your insides are all dirty, why does the outside look fantasic?
Devil couldn't wait to get his hands on you.
Turned your Gold, Destroyed your armament.
Now Shame on you!
You say "whatever!"
Well the same to you.
I'm splitting like an atom,
'Cause I got things to do.
Do what?
You?
Me too!
(Yeah right)
My desires expired.
Now only in Heavenly clenched fists.
Not in accounts of men,
No worldy hands can touch It's interest.
I'm certainly not in agree'n with all of my peeps.
Because they're only look'n skin deep.
They're ignoring all of my verbs,
I guess It's not really what I deserve.
It's too harsh,
Not enough mild.
So I'm head'n to a place
Where you can call me your child.
I'm come'n home.

I'm come'n home daddy.
Make sure you keep the gate open.
I'm not heeding worldly pleasure daddy.
I'm come'n home daddy.
Meet me outside. Greet me with your arms extended daddy.
I'm come'n home!

(for Shaun, Angel, and Allen)

~New Reasons~

I'm not a perfect person.
There's many things I wish I didn't do.
But I keep on learning.
I never meant to do those things to you,
And so I have to say while I go
That I just want you to know.
I've found a reason for me,
To change into who I used to be.
A reason to start over new,
And the reason unfortunatly is you.

I'm sorry that I hurt you
And thats somthing I must live with everyday.
But all the pain you put me through...
I wish I could just take it all away
I'm tired of all of this fear,
so I'm letting it go, and letting you hear...
I've found a reason for me,
To change into who I used to be.
A reason to start over new.
And the reason unfortunatly is You.
But not for you.
Not for you.

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say while I go
That I just want you to know
I've found an awesome reason for me
To change into who I used to be
A reason to start over new
But the main reason isn't you
I've found a reason to show,
A side of me you never could have known.
A reason for the good that I do.
But that reason isn't you.

(To an old "friend")

~You And Me Make Three~

The time seems as if it is never right to play this "game".
All of our friends, they play this "game".
Staring at the closet door they wonder who'll be next.

They stumble us in, and turn out the lights...
With you. With me.

They give us ten, and wait for the time...
With you. With me.

Breathless they wait to open the door, to see...
You. Me.

You break me open. They stumbled us in,
and turned out the lights...
With you. With me. And with "him".

You break me open. We stumbled in.
They turned out the lights...
With him... With him.

Before even 3 has gone by,
I pray to forget all the lies.
With him, you and me.

You break me open! cracking my skin,
you break this shell to free the beauty within.

You break me open and brighten my day!
I can't even speak, I just don't know what to say.

As the door starts to crack, I begin to rush back.
I take a breath and think about you, and me.

Do we entertain you, from the plans that you've made?
Does this explain to you, the plan that's been laid?

We stumbled outside...
Bleary eyed.
With them...
With them.

But you break me open!
Oh you break me open!
You break me open!

(To My Friend Jacklyn)

~I'm Moving On~

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived that I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on

(if you hadn't heard this song by Rascal Flatts then I would definitely recommend you download it)